When God Speaks, You Need to Listen…

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written a blog and to be quite honest, I’ve been a bit overwhelmed with work and various activities and just haven’t made time to write.  So my apologies go out to those who’ve asked questions concerning my well-being and just missed some of my writing.  On a lighter note, to think that anyone misses my writing is kind of funny to me, but flattering nonetheless.

I’ve been relatively silent due to just a good old-fashioned lack of inspiration.  It’s typically easy for me to just start typing and find an end point based on something that generally happens to me throughout my day, but that hasn’t been the case lately, until last night.

I lead a small group, or technically a mens fellowship group, that met last night and had some killer steak (thanks to Chris) and potato’s and then watched the movie “Courageous.”  I’m usually a fan of this particular type of movie by Sherwood and Provident Films, but this one caught my attention and moved me to my core.

The premise of this movie is a challenge to all of the fathers out there to take responsibility for your home and children and lead them as God has commanded us to.  The lead character named Andy is shown to lead a somewhat normal life as a police officer in Albany, GA.  He’s like typical males and tends to put himself first above his wife and family and the tension displayed between family members is obvious.  One day as Andy is working on a personal project at home and gets a phone call that his daughter has been in a horrible automobile accident.  He rushes there only to find out that he’s too late and she passes away.  As you can imagine, Andy and his family spends countless hours grieving this loss and during this time Andy realizes that even though he lost a daughter he’s still a father and has his son.  He then realizes that life is short and begins to invest in his family.  As continues this journey a he creates a resolution that states that he will love, honor, discipline, protect and provide for his family because he is the leader appointed by God to do so.

This synopsis pales in comparison to the actual movie, but it’ll suffice to help make my point: Father’s and Husband’s, we’ve been given a unique and extremely important responsibility to shepherd our family just as Christ intended us to.  It’s time that we rise up as the man of God we’re intended to be and fight for our family just as Christ did for the church.

I’ve been a proud father for the better part of 4 years to an energetic 4-year-old boy Joey and a 2-year-old daughter named Sophie.  These 2 little energizer bunnies keep me young to say the least and make me smile from ear to ear so much that it hurts.  To even think about facing the enormous hurt and grief that the character Andy did in Courageous absolutely makes me sick to my stomach.  If I were to lose a child and not be able to interact, love, hug and play with on a daily basis I would lose my mind.  So I’m stepping out from under my selfishness to lead my family they way I was intended to: with and by God’s help.

God has His ways of getting our attention to make us realize things.  For some, it’s the loss of a loved one. For others, it’s the loss of a job.  For me, it was watching this movie: life changing.  Regardless of what method God chooses, When God Speaks, You Need to Listen…

What Makes a Good Song…

This is in response to my Questions and Answers post:

I’ve been singing for most of my life and it happens to be one of my favorite things to do.  Anyone who knows me is aware that I sing because 90% of the time I’m usually singing some semblance of a song.  I was asked, in response to my Q & A post the other day, “What do you think makes or doesn’t make for a good song.”  Honestly, most won’t like what I have to say because I have such a focussed stance on what makes for a good song, but given the nature of the questions I’ll explain my stance.

I am kind of a different guy because I see things two different ways:

1) Songs when it comes to “signing”

2) Songs when it comes to “listening”

As far as singing goes, I really only love to sing Christian songs when it comes to performing.  Any singer will tell you that in order to “sell” a song you’ve gotta believe in what you’re singing about.  If I’m a business man and I’m trying to convince you to buy my product I would likely be able to sell you something if I use it and believe in it, meaning I’ve seen what it can do and know that it works.  I wouldn’t sell you something that I didn’t back.  Personally, I see singing similar to that.  When I prepare to sing a song I don’t just look at the words and notes and sing, I study the message of the song and then apply it to me in order to feel what’s trying to be said lyrically.  Now, some folks are probably like, “Bro, you are a little too involved for my tastes.” But that is how I am.  I don’t approach singing in a nonchalant way.  If I can reach an emotional attachment to what I’m singing then you’ll get an average result.  The reason I can attach in such a way to Christian music is a direct result to the change my God made in me.  A few years back He changed my life when He gave me 28 years to find Him.  So when I’m asked to serve in a capacity that involves my love of singing I give it my all.  I don’t wait to the last-minute to prepare I take all week to prepare my best effort.

As far as listening goes, I’m a total different animal.  I’m very diverse in my musical choices.  I range from Christian to Rock to Metal to Rap to Classical to Jazz to just about everything in-between, except Country.  I’ve never been a huge fan of Country lyrics, but the music I can handle.  I like melodic vocals that don’t over-stimulate the ears or the brain.  I like simple lyrical hooks for easy recall when I’m driving or riding in the car.  I like lots of bass regardless of the genre I’m listening to (because I’m a bass player at church I like to feel the music; more bass, more drums).

Songs have to make me do 2 things in order to get me to “like” a song:

1) It’s gotta make me wanna move.  Now I’m not talking about dancing at all cause I sure can’t dance, but tap my knee to the beat or nod my head slightly.  If I can’t feel it, I won’t like it.  (Multi-Genre examples – Usher, Brad Paisley, Red, John Mayer)

2) Dynamic vocal.  I would say the more challenging the song is to song, the more and more I’m going to like it.  I’m a counter tenor so my range tends to be on the high side for a male and when I hear a song that can stretch my limits as a vocalist I welcome it as a challenge to get better.  Once you have me this way I can play the song over and over again and never get tired of it.   (Multi-Genre examples – Adele, Usher, David Phelps, Bruno Mars)

Again, this is totally my opinion, so hater tee-off if you want, but to me that’s What Makes a Good Song…

Questions and Answers…

Some of you may have been wondering why I haven’t posted in a while and to be quite honest I hit a writer’s block, so-to-speak.  Usually I write about things that are going on in my life and at the moment there just hasn’t been a lot to write about.  I haven’t decided whether that is a good thing or a bad thing.  So for the time being, I’m rolling with a good thing.

Today’s post isn’t actually a post at all, it’s more of a cry for help.  Given that I don’t have a lot on my mind to write about I’m going to ask you what you would like to hear about or see me write about.  I don’t consider myself to be a professional when it comes to writing, but I just love to do it.

I want to write about what you, the readers want to see.  I’m very skilled in fictional writing that ends with a twist and I’m good at relating God to everyday things in life, despite how difficult.  I’m also open to just plain old writing about anything based off of my opinion.

So here’s what I am asking for:

If you have a topic, being fictional, non-fictional, scripture based or whatever comment on my blog and tell me what you would like to see written.  It’s your chance to have power over a blog without having to fully manage it.

It’s a different concept, but let see where God takes it!

~ Ryan

Precious Memories…

This past weekend the music industry lost an iconic, legendary voice in Whitney Houston.  Aside from her personal choices and inner demons, Houston was a dynamic vocalist with a unique sound that commanded attention when she sang even the simplest of songs.  Her range skied from the clouds to the basement enabling her to sing just about anything she wanted, even the phone book if she would’ve tried.  Some blame her rocky marriage and others say it was simply her choices, but regardless of whatever is to blame she will be missed.  I can remember watching the movie Bodyguard and listening to her sing “I will Always Love you” and just sitting in sheer amazement as she belted out the song, but that too just as her life is but a memory.  What I can’t help but think about is how will she be remembered?  Will she be the dynamic voice or the recovering addict?  How will her family cope with this?  Her own daughter was rushed to the hospital over-whelmed with it all and I wonder what does and will she remember about her mom?

When faced with difficult times in life our choices in those situations truly reflect who we are.  It’s how we handle those life altering moments that dictate our character that the world sees.  Abraham Lincoln once said in a speech that, “…to forget ones past is to ignore who we are.”  That’s one of my favorite quotes and I use it a lot.  To me it simply states our past, however grim or pleasant it was, helps shape us into who we are today.  We learn from our mistakes so we try not to repeat it.   For every decision there is an outcome and, unfortunately, we don’t always think before we make our choices and the end result sometimes takes time to develop often resulting in hurting someone who we love dearly, even if the intent was never meant that way.

I believe that God wants us to leave behind a legacy that is full of life.  Our decisions and choices directly effect the outcome of our legacy.  How would you want you legacy to turn out?  I always look at it like this:

“What if your life was a book that could be checked out from a library.  Everyone has access to your book and read its contents at their leisure.  It would start at your birth and follow every tiny detail all the way up to your death.  What would people read as they turn the pages?  Would intimate details would they read about?  What would their opinion be when they finished it?  Would they recommend it to someone to read based on good deeds or the fact that its devilishly good read?”

Now let’s take it one step further:

“What if you son or daughter could read it?  Would you want them to?  Would they blush at what they find?  Would they cry and put it down, unable to finish?  Would they cry tears of joy knowing you were a good a faithful servant?”

When I think of my life as a piece of literature a novel isn’t exactly the type of print that I would think it would be: more like a goofy novel of some sort.  I’ve done some things in my life that I’m not exactly proud of and we all have.  Things that might make some blush, definitely some things that’ll make most laugh out loud, but the greatest thing about my “life’s’ novel” is that I’m not done writing the ending.  I’m planning and hoping that the ending to my life turns my book into a New York Times Best-Seller based on the amazing things that God has in store for me.  That’s the beauty of it all is that WE still have the chance to re-write the ending in a way that will make our life’s’ story epic.  Each day is a new page, my words and actions become the literature, God is the writer and with these things in place my “goofy life” turns into a work art with God at the helm.

We do have the choice to make our story meaningful by placing our life into the right hands and relinquishing control.  God is the virtuoso, the master conductor, and He longs to make us a beautifully written masterpiece and this is how we make Precious Memories…

A Healthy Christian Lifestyle…

I’ve been active in serving at churches for years.  Every church that I have ever been a part of has never been the same from a functionality stand point, but the general synopsis of service has generally been equal.  When it comes to service in the church it’s not as easy for some as it is for others, but knowing all the limitations involved with serving is key.

I recently had a conversation with a ex-pastor friend of mine that dealt with this same issue.  He had served faithfully for 4 years as a youth pastor another church in Alabama.  He had planned countless retreats, events and concerts all for his students and had been a great example to what a youth pastor should be.  But as he did all of this he forsook the most important thing to him other than God himself: his family.  He had given so much time to the youth that he failed to make time to invest at home causing his marriage to fail and his relationships with his children to vanish.  He had become the opposite example of what he was to his youth and church at home.

Hearing this news obviously stirred me to the core and I cried along with him.  I told him that I would check up on him in a few days just to see how he was doing and that I’d process what he had told me and offer any advice that I could give him.  With his permission and without revealing names this is what I told him after contemplating:

Me to my friend:

“After the initial call I took some time, not even discussing it with my wife and family, to just let all that was said marinate in my mind.  The result of my thought kind of staggered me and I had to pray and make sure that what I was thinking was exactly God breathed because it ultimately shocked me.”

“When in a marriage you have to be sure that you are on the same page at all times; especially if your marriage is centered around God because lack of communication leads to demise.  If neither of you communicate then failure is the ultimate goal even though it was never intended that way.  Intentions mean nothing without action to support them.  I’ve learned this the hard way recently so trust me when I say that.”

“Invest as much time at home as you do at church.  Honestly sit down and write out the amount of time you spend at work on any given day and make sure you spend the same amount of time at home.  If you physically can’t then make sure the time you have is intentional, quality time.  With the time you spend at home you also have to balance it between your wife and kids.  Show them both you want to be there for them.  Hug your kids and play with them.  Hug your wife, hold her hand, get her flowers and prove your love to her.  She only knows what you show her, words are just words.”

“Do not attach yourself with too much emotion to your youth at church.  There is an undefined line between caring and too much caring: find it and don’t waiver from it.  Do all that you can without sacrificing your family time and if it’s not enough trust it to the God that you serve and let that be an example of your faith in Him.”

Quite frankly, when I had this conversation with him I was floored by the words that came out of my mouth because as most of you who know me know, that’s typically not me.  I’m not a guy that dishes out words of wisdom very often and when I do it’s usually something that I have heard before.  But in this case, these words came as natural as a seasoned orator giving a speech.  Not only did they flow freely, but they struck my own heartstrings: this is for both my friend and myself.

I used to be exactly what my friend is now.  It took a clear understanding from God to know exactly what He wants in my life.  I used to be the person that couldn’t say no.  I was the guy left his family at home to go serve in the name of Jesus without including the very family that Jesus gave me in the first place.  I took them for granted and just did what I thought was right.  I almost wound up in the same situation, but God thankfully revealed to me what I needed to do and I reached out and took it.

My marriage and family today is in a far better place than it used to be.  Granted I still have a lot of short-comings, but God has afforded me the opportunity to realize that the greatest thing that I was missing was right in front of me: my family.  I was able to set aside what I thought was right for me and grab on to what God had right for me.

I stress this to all who I know in ministry and layman’s positions that serve in any capacity: no your limitations, don’t forsake your family and learn to live A Healthy Christian Lifestyle…

The Best You Can Do…

Have you ever really thought about effort?  Have you thought what a difference maximum effort could really do?  I know that I sometimes don’t always give my best effort in things and I generally have an excuse as to why I just gave some effort instead of all.  “I’m not feeling well,” or “Something came up,” or even “I just didn’t have the time.”  These are some of my favorite excuses to mention if I didn’t give maximum effort.  Why do we do that?  Is our life really that full of things that we can’t make the time to give all that we have for something or anything that we do?

My children have been some of the best teachers for me in my life.  I have a 4-year-old son named Joey and a 2-year-old daughter named Sophie.  Ok, I realize that they are very young, but trust me, they are great teachers.  Now they don’t realize that they are teaching me anything, but their actions speak loud and clear.  Everyday my son says something that’s pretty amazing to me and it ranges from day-to-day the nature of what he speaks about but it resonates with me daily.  Usually, he’s singing a song that he learned for the first time at school or quoting a bible verse that he learned from Awanas, but regardless of which it is, its blows my mind.  I have a hard enough time remembering my name or my own birthday, but he just spouts out stuff because his little mind is a sponge.  Somedays what he teaches me can make me blush with embarrassment because not only is he a little sponge, but also a parrot: he repeats everything, so obviously I have to choose my words carefully around him.  Let me point out that the things he repeats from me aren’t curse words or anything, but he says things exactly the way I intend them to be said, sarcasm and all.  In these moments, good and bad, I’m starting to realize that maybe my effort with my son is lacking is well.  It’s not that I don’t love him or want to be around him it’s just I let things get in my way.  And the more and more that I do this the faster time slips away and soon he’ll be gone.  I’m glad that I realize this now instead of when he’s 30, but at least I can do something about it.

I also recognize that I can do better in others lives as well.  When I’m with my friends and loved one I too need to be more aware of what I say can do.  My old offensive line coach, Coach Skeen, had a saying (this one is appropriate) “If you hang around trash too long, you begin to smell like it.”  As funny as it sounds, a lot of truth can be found in that statement.  If the actions and words that spill out of me constantly are filth and unnecessary then that is how I’ll be perceived.   And if my friends are around me and hear the same thing then I could possibly rub off on them.  It essentially becomes a domino affect.  Garbage in, Garbage out.

Christ paid far too high a price for me to ruin His efforts without trying my best.  He laid His life down as a sacrifice that I might live eternally with Him, and not just me, but everybody.  If the Holies of holies did that for me should I give Him a lack-luster effort because of lack of time or just selfishness?  Absolutely not.  The standard by which I am held should be high and I am to live to that standard and give maximum effort because He chose to give us His.  No excuse or selfish desire should ever stand in the way.  Trust me, I am far from perfect nor have I ever claimed to be, but that doesn’t excuse me from trying my best to advance His kingdom for His glory.

Life is too short to spend wondering what could’ve or should’ve been.  We don’t need to spend time dwelling on the things that matter the least, but rather invest our time in the things that matter the most.  It’s time for all to do The Best You Can Do…

A Clear Understanding…

Sometimes in life we tend to overlook things. I’m the grand-master at this (ask anyone in my family and they’ll confirm). I tend to overload my life with so many things and commitments that I forget details that are important for various reasons and important to people as well. Now, I don’t claim to be perfect and Lord knows I’m not, but the proof is unfortunately brought to light every time I overlook something.

Years ago as a freshman in high school I began to struggle as an academic. I couldn’t focus on given tasks and my memory failed me when it came to home work or simply retaining the daily lessons in class. I’d come home and just stare at the books and half-hearted notes that I had taken as if I had written them in Greek. This was something that was new to me and I began to think it was a phase. Slowly and progressively it got worse and affected me more and more and eventually my teacher picked up on something that I had no idea about. My English teacher (Mrs. Edwards) whom I didn’t fashion as a likable lady, approached my mom with what appeared to be an asinine idea, “I think your son may have A.D.D.(Attention Deficit Disorder) ” When my mom heard this she did like most and thought it was a kind of crazy notion, but after looking at some correlating facts it became more evident that she just may be right. I had always been a 3.3 GPA student, never really got into trouble and was pretty successful at anything I had attempted, but recently my GPA sunk to 1.6 and I was in trouble more often. My mom then realized it was time to make a move.

We ventured down to a recommended physician who was familiar with ADD and I participated in a series of tests. Rather than go into the complicated, yet simple tests, I’ll just say the came back proving Mrs. Edwards correct, only it was ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). Not only could I not focus, but I couldn’t sit still either: a great combo. Sound familiar parents? I was basically a 3 year old in a 16 year olds body. I was given a medicine and I vastly improved.

As I look back over my most recent blogs it seems as if I noticed something that I never really had before and quite frankly I don’t really want to admit it: maybe I still need the medicine. The past few months have been very stressful because of choices I have made. Nothing terribly bad mind you, but not smart nonetheless, causing stress at home. My intentions behind the non-smart decisions were not hurtful or malicious in any way because any of you that know me understand that’s not part of my character. Pride can be a beast of an attribute that doesn’t really help anyone on a consistent basis in my opinion, but for me I think that it may have caused me to give up on the meds after school cause I thought that was all they were intended for. After seeing the stress I’ve caused I think God is showing me that some of us need a little extra help from time to time. It’s not a shameful thing, but it can hurt to know you can’t do something on your own.

I ask you all to help me in prayer as I investigate further in to my memory issues and see if God and possibly meds can help me find A Clear Understanding…